Lets talk about the new-age spiritual line “what did you do that allowed this situation to happen”.
Firstly, I would like to prefix this whole article by saying, YOU ARE NOT TO BLAME for what someone else did to you.
The issue that arises with this term/question often posed in articles and videos by spiritual gurus is it is ultimately blaming the survivor/victim for what happened to them. Which I think we can all agree in 2024, just isn't cool, or accurate.
As with much in the new-age realms this is a watered-down and ultimately wrong interpretation of a very useful teaching found in schools of thought, psychology, mystery, and traditions across the word and time.
The fact is, we do need to go inwards and reflect upon ourselves in order to grow and to evolve beyond our current experiences and into the next, but we don't achieve this through the blame-game.
Its not about blame, and certainly not about blaming yourself, which can lead to secondary downward spirals of simply reliving your trauma.
Some might call it finding the “value” in the traumatic experience in order to learn something from it, and that is apparently the gift.... but I would even argue that this is also a little too close to survivor-blaming. To me it is more about finding an anchor point for alchemy of the unprocessed or unhealed emotions of the experience.
When you reflect and analyse your own emotions and actions during a traumatic event this is NOT you accepting blame for the situation you were in, it is simply looking for that base-emotion, that core-experience that left a fragment of your soul in that time and space. Our emotions are our MOST powerful attribute as human beings, and they have the ability to fragment the soul and create our reality.
When we reflect and analyse our own emotions and actions we are simply looking for that piece of our soul that we left behind in a state of fight or flight. Like the lizard that detaches a piece of its tail to get away, we do a very similar thing with our emotion-body.
There's a reason toddlers ask “why” ten million times a day, and its all about feedback. This is also a great tool for processing your own emotions. Asking yourself “why” is not accepting blame for a situation, it is simply an anchor point for alchemizing any core memories or emotions that become subconscious conditioning for how you might react to a similar event in the future, or in some cases becoming a disproportionate reaction to a lesser situation.
We could go a lot deeper into several points in this article, and I'm sure we will in the future, but the message for now is to reflect from a place of compassion and not to blame. This is going to serve you far more opportunities to progress when it comes from a place of compassion, knowing that you survived the way you knew how in that moment, and that's ok. I thank past-me every day for getting me this far, and I encourage you to thank your past-self too!
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